


The Road Home

by braytray



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: "this must be at LEAST 2000 words", BS, M/M, Post season 3a, Songfic, and then it was 583?, but not bad, god i finished writing this and i was like, i just love my friends way too much, like crying emotional, like really post, okay i was really emotional while writing thi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 11:50:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15533601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braytray/pseuds/braytray
Summary: Tell me, where is the roadI can call my own,That I left, that I lost,So long ago?





	The Road Home

**Author's Note:**

> The song this was inspired by, "The Road Home" by Stephen Paulus is one of the most important songs I've ever sung in my choir. It's about turmoil and sorrow and being able to go home to a place where you belong, and to me that's my choir. I can always come to them after a hard time and they are always here. When the seniors left at the end of the year, singing this song at the concert was so emotional and tear jerking. I know I don't know any of you reading this, but I hope you find the place where there truly is no such beauty as where you belong.

_Tell me, where is the road_

_I can call my own,_

_That I left, that I lost,_

_So long ago?_

 

Maybe this was just the last straw.  The _adamas_ tip of his own arrow piercing his flesh, it was just a hairline gap away from his heart.  It was deadly as well, he knew his own weapons.  Every rune carved into the wood was meant to enhance the lethality, and he thought it Alec though that it would be so easy to shift even just the smallest bit to end it all.  It would be so much easier to walk further into the darkness.  It was slowing closing around him, filling his ears like he was underwater.  It soaked into his bones and froze him to his core.  Every second, Magnus's and Jace's pleads for him to _stay with us_ were quieter and less convincing.

He was used to it, frankly.  Perhaps not the arrow stuck in his chest, but this cold feeling was nothing new.  Two decades of never being good enough made that his reality almost every day.  What would one more disappointment be to his parents?  At least this was one he wouldn't have to face them after.  Not to mention the fresh news of Magnus losing his magic, something Alec knew he would regret, just brought new tears to his eyes.  If the arrow didn't kill him, the guilt surely would.

 

_All these years I have wandered,_

_Oh, when will I know_

_There's a way, there's a road_

_That will lead me home?_

Alec vaguely remembered a time he was patrolling with Jace by the Hudson river, and some mischievous Fairy had pulled him in.  The maelstrom pulled him under and tossed him in every direction.  The dark around him was so deep and all consuming that it seemed like something he couldn't escape.  It was November, and the below freezing temperature had him shivering violently, practically hypothermic, by the time Jace was able to pull him out.

Everything now felt identical.  The coldness, the helplessness.  The darkness and swirling turmoil was the same.  Voices came from every direction.  Endless whispers that overlapped and overwhelmed his mind. 

"...I'm calling Cat..."

"...he's dying..."

"...Please Alec, come back to me..."

"...He's going to pull through..." 

 

_After wind, after rain,_

_When the dark is done._

_As I wake from a dream_

_In the gold of day,_

 

Champagne sunlight draped over Alec's body and the warmth was what slowly brought him back to the world of the awake.  It glinted in his eyes and he turned to look around.  The door was open, and through it he could just barely see Magnus and Jace sitting in their living room.  He couldn't tell if they were talking or just sitting, the haze of healing magic still laid heavily over his body.  Almost dying took a toll on the body, something he knew from experience.  That made it particularly easy for him to fall back asleep before he could even turn his head back.

 

_Through the air there's a calling_

_From far away,_

_There's a voice I can hear_

_That will lead me home._

Hours later, it was finally night.  And Magnus was finally lying by his side when he woke up again.

"I love you, Alexander," Magnus said.

Alec turned to rest his head on Magnus's shoulder and relished the feeling of Magnus's hand running soothingly up and down his back. "I love you too."

 

_Rise up, follow me,_   
_I will lead you home._

 


End file.
